Well, this is life

i am totally bored and sad this time i ever feel real. today i feel like i was opening a new life because hm...... something that i adore is really really disappear. i think that i can't go on, i can't move on. it's too hard, i don't want to lose those memories. when life seems hard it means you're not going with the flow. but it's true that sometimes we have to fight with the flow. well actually and honestly, sometimes i imagine what is the reason that this life is so hard to face?

Life is wonderful in their own way

Every single memories are not made up

You can learn more by moving on

that sentence sounds OUCH! hm, okay i'll tell ya a short story of mine. this day i really miss my boyfriend who's not missing me at all. but from there i learn to be strong and to build a well-built gun to fight. sometimes i feel i am unwanted and i don't suppose to be born at all. but i think, hey! i have family and friends who are always there, who stands beside me, who walks with me and hold my hands when no one else did.

but the most hardest part is when you have to give in what you save, to destroy what you build, to decrease what you increase ant to forget what you get. it hurts. so when you asked me what hurts the most, i'll answer......... to leave what you love and to hate what you like, oya one more to trash all the things you have ever wanted. well..... that's life! no one could explain why, but no one could ever deny too. unfortunately, life is a monster, i mean life is two-sided. when life is so sweet, their bitterness will grow. and when life is so bitter, their sweetness will sprinkled. it's called balance. like my life, i never wanted to be forgotten. i don't want to be just an additional sweeter. but can i deny? no, it's just the line. the line where you start to compete.

like Irma's Friendster background

Everything will be okay in the end

If it's not okay

It's not the end

i'm egoistic, that's why i'm not giving you in R!......................

sorry that things just BOOM! in my mind

i have a boyfriend, but now it seems hurt to feel him again. okay, i'm shy, i'm shy to be called as a bitch, two-faced and ya you know a girl who doesn't has self-priced? it hurts, but i get it all away, i face it just for be with him together again. yesterday, precisely 2months ago, everything was so wonderful. it was filled with happiness. no days without laughter. really! everyday, that holiday, i spent with my boyfriend. because i was back together at that time. everything kinda chaos when we reach our 3weeks. oh my gosh! i can't believe it. all of those memories, just turned into tears. but i try to be strong. i believe i can face those through. i can face those hard days. as time passed, everything was all changed. smile and laughter turns into tears. our messages just flew away. all i have just now is a little smile which could rise my memories about that time.

reng i really miss you and i'll be there for you :') to be honest you really make me disappointed but all i know is just i really love you. and i hope you didn't really change.

in this topic i just want to say that i miss him a lot. and i want it all back, our memories and our laughter. wishing all those things back just bring an empty hope, sometimes miracles will come and washed away this chaos. don't forget that life is a miracle which is given by God and nothing could ever pay it back :")