Friday, October 2, 2009

Past, Being Lonely and A new start

Hey readers! Yang ini special gue tulis buat Pedro Pier, sahabat gue yang ada di Spore skrg, follow him at Twitter: @pedrosaporta. Ini request dari dia, and hope he’ll like it, dan nggak sedih lagi kalo inget sama masa lalunya. I’ve known what it’s like to be left alone and when she didn’t heed you til she’ve found a new settlement… gue tau gue emang spik doang ped, krn gue jg gak yakin, manusia bisa nemuin cara untuk move on dr masa lalu mereka yg udh kekubur dibawah jd fondasi masa skrg dan masa dpn.but promise me, you have to feel better after reading this, and after knowing that I’d spent my midnight typing this thing.

I know it sounds uncool, kalo gue bilang “ini saatnya lo nyerah”. No, bukan nyerah “nyerah” artinya, bukan give up. Maksut gue “ikhlas” bukan “pasrah sama keadaan”. Gue tau disaatnya keak gini, sendiri, gak ada yang nemenin, sepi, labil, sedih, kecewa, marah, semua nya campur jadi satu sampe kadang lo nggak ngenalin diri lo sendiri. Then, it’d be crazier, if you think that you are ALL alone. Tolong ya, lo masih punya keluarga dan temen-temen. Gue tau mungkin yang lo lewatin udah banyak, dr yang namanya lo nyoba pertahanin, ternyata gak bisa, nyoba ngulang dari awal, nggak bisa juga, nyoba ngebangun dr 0.slowlyyy, ternyata nggak bisa juga. Gue tau lo kecewa banget, dimana lo gak bisa dapetin apa yang lo mau, dimana lo ngerasa “apa yang gue korbanin ternyata berhasil nol besar in return”, dimana lo ngerasa ini titik mati nya. Lo juga cerita waktu itu sama gue, gimana rasanya ngeliat orang yang lo sayang, secara sadar, ngehempasin lo gitu aja, without a good reason, one piece of a good reason. Mungkin lo ngerasa, “gue jelek, gue gak pantes or something else I don’t know”.

What you really need to know? Lo selama ini, se……………….lama ini nyesel dan masih aja kebawa pikiran hm I mean masa lalu lo. But hey dude, this is the part where you have to see the world with your eyes open. Don’t be silly. When I heard of your stories, really, I didn’t wanna end up like you, and I still don’t. But how can I change things before it really exists. And I absolutely understand how you feel when you see her holding on to someone, who is quite clear, not you. It’s not about how handsome you are, or how kind you are. But how you can take it with your life. You really need to learn how to let go something you extremely adore. It’s hard but it’ll make you stronger than this. When you love someone, and the things are just not what you’ve wanted it keeps on breakin your heart, it’s better to leave. Really! Trust me. Sometimes, human are kinda awkward. They feel they’re loving someone, when they already stepped away. They feel regretting something, when the time is not for regretting but for a new start. It sounds hopeless I know. But somehow, you can’t live with your own wishlist. Life has its own plot and as we all know life is full of secrets :)

From this lessons, you can STILL remember your past or keep lookin back. It’s your right. But the faster you run, the harder to look back. Keep your memories locked deep down inside. And when you feel you’re much stronger than the last time you looked back, you’re allowed to open it. and even more, I know that you’re wiser to catch your other dream. Go on! Live your life. Free you mind.

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