My Bad Temper

Yep. So if i could define bad temper in two words, it would be grumpy and or maybe selfish?

And to be honest with you friends, my temper is very bad and it's not because i'm labile, this is just me. I can hold back my feelings, telling you guys, I CAN. but i can be so sharp at making a statement. I'm not always wrong too, but not always right as well. And if you can't handle me at my worst, than you sure as hell don't deserve me at my BEST. My bad temper has been causing so much damages in relationships between me and friends, family and boyfriend. But here is the thing you people really HAVE to know

Behind this wild side, i do have the delicate, so soft and fragile side that nobody cares about. Nobody. Trust me. Nobody would like to be the blame. Nobody would like to get the impact of my bad temper. Tongue is boneless. And the easiest way to hurt people is by saying something rude. Man, that's easy. But remember, i won't pick up a fight, if you don't trigger me to. I can guarantee you 100%. And due to the fact that i'm a girl, it's clear to see. My hormones also take part. Hahahaha and bitch, really, girls are sensitive, so is me.

Don't date a girl if you sure you can't handle her bad mood

I'm just being real. If you love me, i think, if you love me for who i really fucking am, you won't complain and you won't RUN OUT OF PATIENCE. And if you don't love me, chill, walk away bcs i never asked you too enter my life and be friends and so on. I'm tired of listening.

Now it's time for you to listen

People have problems. And so do i. I can't handle them alone, but somehow i just can't tell everything. There is still something i can't tell my boyfriend, my mom and my dad.( Tho i will never be able to lie to You, God).

Just don't talk to me "that" way, i mean, don't ever even think to talk to me in high-pitched. Treat me as a lady, gentle man. If you are one.

Treat me as a friend.

You bite. I kill. So simple aite? My brain is smart enough to manage an evil plan too. Ok im starting to be toooooo honest hahahaha.

It's normal, the pressures are forcing me to be such a beast i know. But why don't you help me? Why are people complaining? Why don't people understand. Pleaseplease please

I know i've been a bad daughter, boyfriend, friend, classmate, and whatever it is. I'm SORRY. I'm SORRY. But i'm here to ask you people. My people. you-all-know-who. I don't have to mention their names one by one. I am fucking sorry for ever ruining your days and moods. Sorry. Just leave, if you don't wanna get hurt, leave, tell me that i'm not good. EASY. Just don't be such a jerk, blabbering everything i did wrong.

Hereby, i apologize to DVRPUTRA. for all the things i did wrong, for all the days i ruined, and all the troubles i put us thru'. I want you to put me first, or else i'll be putting you the last in my "Who to care about list". That's pretty fair, i think lol (don't take this as a joke). I mean it. I'm trying to make you understand why i've been so grumpy these days. I love you, but i just don't know how not to be me.... sorry. And oh yes, i got hyped almost everytime, when i miss you, when you're nowhere to be found, when i'm alone, when you're being such an ass, when we're in a fight, when everything is ain't like what i wanted it to be. It's very human, my dear. It's just not you but it's so me. And thank God for sending me a guy with patience like him, thanks for sticking with me for like almost 2 years and present ;)

What If….. (expecting a happy 3rd months)

Dear, a bald guy over there.

What if you can live forever? Will you still know how to thank God for life?

What if you will die tomorrow? Will you kill yourself this moment?

What if i will leave you sooner than tomorrow? Do you still believe in love?

What if you find that you are unloved? Can you still smile?

What if it hurts to see someone you love most hanging with a better person? Can you still hold on?

What if you are nothing to fight for? Will you still try to survive?

“What if I won’t let you go? Will you still hold me back and keep whispering the same thing?”
- Yeah! now please call me and tell me that thing. Again.

What if you are the mistake? Can you still admit?

What if I can’t take it anymore? What’d you do to make me strong?

What if I go somewhere, where you can’t reach me? Do you want to bring me down or take me to a higher place?

Then what if we are going wrong? Will you say “I promise.. oh please, don’t say like that”?

What you would do if I feel I’m much annoying and have to take another way to go?

Will you cry for me?

What if I run away from you, while you keep runnin to catch me? Will you hope yourself to die? Or just crossing another way to live without me?

What if I’m gone, will you remember me? Do you still feel how much I’ve loved you?
Or won’t you try to bring me back?

Will you still see me right next to you even when you are blinded with new comers?

What if you just don’t love me like what you’ve always said? Will you lie? Or just let me know how pain hurts? Or will you swear like “I swear I’ve just realized that I really love you. I’m not lying. Oh sweet, please stay here with me”?

What if this world is going to end? As soon as you blink for just a wink………
Will you try to find me even just to reach the door or make a phone call?
Even better, will you remember to say “I Love You” just for the last one
While all you mean to say is just “Goodbye World”
Will you stay awake for me….. *a big smile*

Comment:
This questions abandon all my hope but I know I still can get along with that. It’s gettin closer to my 3rd months, and I just want to say thanks for anybody who’s helped me. Hereby, I wanna say Happy fuckin I miss you, Dev =P Well, honestly, I don’t know how here this kinda thing came out from my brain, combined with my heart, and the blood keep rushing through and tip tap tip tap…my finger tip has just made that more simple, than it was (before filtered from the brain). You guys are sweet. I mean you “guys”, who don’t fake their-selves infront of me. Yeah, the ones who keep telling me to be tough, stronger and keep holding on. The ones who keep telling me “You guys both are such a perfect couple” LALALA idk what else’s on. Just wanna inform you, 4 Oct is Sunday. Sure it’ll be sunny for me and my sunshine lol. Thanks for reading. If you like this post. Give reaction! Or you can mention me at Twitter. See you. Have a chill nite.

For you guys, who haven't felt something like this. shut your mouth, tiiiight!


--->POST INI ORIGINAL PUNYA GUE, BUATAN GUE. TOLONG JANGAN ADA YANG SEMENA-MENA MENGCOPY POST BARU GUE ATAUPUN POST YANG SUDAH LAMA TANPA IZIN DAN SEENAKNYA DI PASTE KE PAGE PRIBADI. DIHARAPKAN OTAK NYA DI PAKE. Terimakasih

OH Truth! You're hatin on me

Selamat Hari Batik.
Follow @indonesiaunite on Twitter.

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HEH LO LO SEMUA!! GUE LAGI KESEEEL BANGET NIH GAKTAU PMS GAKTAU EMANG BANGKE ARAB GAK TAU EMANG GUE BENCI PERASAAN KAYAK GINI!! HAHUHAHUHAHUHA *ngos-ngosan*.

Hey there my readers. I’m back, dengan sedikit pengendalian emosi, I’m AVATAAAR!! Gak karuan banget gue malem ini:’( Enek dan I feel there’s something unknown that keeps bothering my mind, and I just don’t know what it is. Kalo blogging gue bosen ah cerita tentang hari-hari gue. Follow my latest updates di Twitter aje IYEAH. Twittamaniac!! Sekarang kita omongin tentang satu hal yang paling sulit untuk dicari, lebih dari uang. Kebenaran.

Tau gak lo siapa yang sebenernya korupsi? Tau gak lo sebenernya dia kayak gimana? Tau gak lo kejadian kemaren rekayasa apa bukan? Tau gak lo temen lo itu kayak apa? Tau gak lo lo udah di tipu? Tau gak kalo lo itu cuma bahan permainan?

RARRRRR!! Banyak fakta fakta yang sebenernya bukan “fakta”, Cuma di anggep bener aja karena banyak bukti kuat. Padahal what you see sometimes is not what it seem to be. Dan emang iya kok, manusia itu paling jago buat malsuin diri sendiri? Malsuin duit aja bisa masa duit kagak? Gue kecewa sebenernya kita tuh tukang bohong, dan penuh kemunafikan ya kalo dibilang. Maloeee abieshhh. Cuman kalo di pikir-pikir, selama kita ngga nyakitin orang lain, mungkin itu bakal lebih baik. AAAAH:’’’’( tp gue benci when the truth opens up at a wrong moment!! Sumpah salting banget, gue campur aduk, kesel seneng kecewa lega dll.

“Are u a true friend? In need and in deed? I doubt it. We don’t even know what friendship really means”

AYO KITA MAKAN TEMEN SEBELUM KITA DI MAKAN!!!! AH TAUK AH GUE SPEECHLESS. Cuma ngelantur. Bye nyari topic hidayat….topik hidayah? topik.,.

Abigail Riot, how's ur lovelife?

Hey guys, sekarang gue mau curcol dong soal lovelife gue. Kayaknya udah lama nggak gue update cerita sebenernya. Let me start my fairy tell. Shall we?

Who and The Alpha?
Pacar gue sekarang namanya Devara.. think u guys all have already known. Gue jadian sama dia tanggal 4th July. T’was on passing grade holiday. Gue di Bangkok dan dia di Bali, yaya kepisah jarak tapi yang ada malah so close ya unyunyu. Gue deket sama dia tuh akhir Juni, gara-gara gue selek-selek gitulah sama ex gue. Thank God he came to me and offered me something new.

How you feel?
Sekarang gue tau rasanya sayang yang bener-bener pol, he’s like my brother, my cousin, my friend, my playmate, my crying-shoulders, my guardian, my bff. He’s everything. Ini dia yang gue cari.

What’s in your head Abi?
Gue yakin sih makin lama pacaran, pasti hal-hal yang tadinya special keak.. saying I love you I miss you atau spending time together pasti makin kurang. Pasti bakal kerasa “yaudah gue percaya sama lo, biarin gue jalanin hidup gue yang biasa, berdampingan sama hidup lo”. Mungkin rasa bosen juga bakal dateng, whenever. Dari sini gue belajar, kalo ternyata emang, bukan hal besar yang ngebuat pacaran itu jadi special, tapi hal-hal kecil yang sepele dan justru (rarely) you and your only one do. Makin lama jadian, gue yakin pasti makin biasa dan ada rasanya pengen punya pasangan baru, mungkin bukan di gue, mungkin di dia..but I try my best, pasangan baru…. Gue ngga tergiur, jujur, gue udah ngerasa nyaman aman dan tentram, di hubungan yang lalu-lalu gue terlalu ngebawa serius alias nggak have fun. Mungkin sekarang gue serius, gue mau COMMIT sama omongan2 gue ke Deva, tapi gue juga pengen have fun. So dia juga ngerasa gue ada buat dia nggk Cuma buat affection aja, tp disegala waktu, di waktu dia seneng-seneng main, sama diwaktu dia bête sama gue sekali pun. Cherish every little things you do and you’ve done with them, because those things hide something you don’t know. Something sweeter I guess. Gue juga selalu ngebawa seneng aja kalo lagi hang out sama dia, gakpeduli lagi selek ato gak ada duit dan dimanapun, gue bawa enjoy aja, ini yang gue cari, WAH emang sih waktu dulu deket sama Deva, sebelum jadian gue juga deket sama adalah orang-orang yang juga baik sama gue, Idk why there’s something in him I can’t deny. Gue jarang banget yang namanya ngerasa bosen, even with Deva sekarang, why?
I fall in love with the same guy each day, jadi feel gue juga ke-refill sendirinya, hal-hal yang udah passed away, yang dulu-dulu selalu jadi pegangan, hal terkecil pun gue inget, yang ngebuat gue norak ketawa senyam senyum sendiri lah, itu, FLASHBACK. Mungkin dia bakal ada berubah dikit seiring jalannya waktu, tp gue tau, dia Devara :’) apa lagi mau ngadepin ujian.. HELLO gue parno banget kalo disaat gue butuh support dan dukungan super, dia malah ninggalin gue apa gmn2, tp gue coba bgt buat pikir positif, selalu gue kubur yg kea ginigini. Frekuensi ketemu gimana yaaa, wah bakal jarang abis itu ini itu apa lah, semuanya emang ngerasukin otak gue, kadang gue juga sampe down bête sendiri mikirnya tapi yaudahlah, gue bawa seneng, I try to make him happy, he’s happy, I know, so why do I have to feel like it’s the end of the world? I’m holding on to him, very tight, til I even can’t control my nerves. It’s rushing through my veins, and it makes me so happy about life. Hang on! The best is yet to come :)

For the next months and furthermore..?
Think I’m gonna spend almost all my days with him, biarpun nggak secara fisik side by side, I’ve been blessed, and you are my blessing :} don’t go. Itu aja keanya

Got any last words?
Wow so u are trying me? I got a last one, long one.

Hey there big guy, ini gue lagi di wawancara ceritanya jadi gausah bacot lo ah wuakak. Gue sayang sama lo, more and more each day if u really want to know. Apa ya..if u read this shit, I know you’re smiling. You’ll go up up up and up, call me if you miss me. I’m missing you rite now, most of my time, this is how I spend it. I ain’t gonna feel tired, this thing drives me crazy, really. It’s sweet realizing that I’m yours.. Emang sih ketemu gue sama lo tuh keanya kapan ya idk, haah lama gidude tp oke gk masalah, Sabtu ini.make it the best I’ve ever felt like yaa, to be honest, gue seneng bisa sama lo HAHAHA you’re spoiled and you’re where I belong. Kinda cute to see you sleep such a baby. well apa lagi ya gue bingung. private!! :p:p huehuehe see u tayanqq

Sorry

sebenernya ada beberapa posting yang belom sempet gue post ke sini, tapi udah gue save di other laptop gue. dan gue malah skip kesini, sorry guys, tapi gue butuh tempat buat cerita dan diharapkan nggak ada yang komentar tentang post gue ya. this is my personal things, and you have your own. gue juga ntar sooner or later bakal ngepost something related to this one.

gue.....lagi ada masalah. gue bingung. dan nggak bisa nentuin apa yang mesti gue pilih. kalo dipikir-pikir biarpun gue post disini, lo belum tentu ngerti maksutnya apa. gue sedih banget, sebenernya gue seneng, tapi gue juga nggak mungkin kayak gini terus, gue disalahin terus, gue di tuntut untuk ngelakuin banyak hal, tapi gue selalu ngasih hasil yang ngecewain. banyak sisi negatif sama positif yang gue liat dari sudut pandang gua. tapi.... yah mau di bilang apa. gue nggak bisa di salahin terus, tapi gue nggak mau nyalahin juga. gue nggak mungkin maksain apa yang udah nggak bisa dilakuin dong.

kalo emang, this has to end up like this. why not? gue yakin this thing will recover. nggak akan seburuk yang gue sama lo kira. lo bakal ngerasa bebas dan nggak down lagi, dan gue juga nggak akan nyusahin lo lagi, lo juga gak mesti ngebacotin gue kalo gue banyak salah. nggak bakal capek lagi lo kayak apa yang lo bilang. gue minta maaf gue punya banyak salah sama lo. makasih juga kalo lo udah baik bangetttt sama gue, dari nemenin gue bobo by the phone, nyanyi buat gue dan semua nya lah

mungkin....setiap malem gue bakal kangen sama lo yang sering banget nemenin gue. gue nggak bakal lupain semua nya:'(

TO BE CONTINUE

If you finally know

i will never let you go
and don't ever ever go
cause i'll wake up
and look beside me
remembering your voice that sent me to dream
i'm about asking myself
did you lay here beside?
did you hold me tight?
did we adore the night?
i love you so much more than this
i wish that we have made promises which can never fade
and i was like a fool finding devotion

and now i am just looking at my affection
and you are my addiction

stay like this, just like we are
and i will never change a thing
i will walk beside you
stay with me, and kiss me
and so i will believe that love is exist

call me everyday and every night
and i won't worry about life

thanks you for this lovely lil things

Ho oh gua egois. Gua aja mulu

Ada yang ngerti arti egois? Selfish? Hm...... Kalo gua egois berarti gua gamau ngalah dong? Berarti gua ga sekut dong? Berarti gua masih ngungkit2 dong? Keanya gua udah ngalah deh santai, diem aja. Dan lagi gua ga ngemengin apa apa tentang lo. Ngepain jg? Gua ngerasa ngga ada masalah kan ya. Hem hem itu lo nya aja kali yang gasuka sama gua. Lo dan your company. Lagian kl ada masalah juga udah dr kpn tau selesai. Muna aja gitu kan katanya udah sante taunya? Yah jengkol bau kecebur kolam oli. Masalah udah taun jebot masih juga lu kesel, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA anak anak nya booook. Nah egois juga kan kalo misalnya ngemengin orang padahal gaktau apa apa. Yaduh yaduh, i'll pray. Sorry God i've said that rude things. SABAR JANET, SABAR J!!?! J J J J J J J J J J J J , iye nama gua depannya J, nape2? Enek gua juga tadinya baik2 malah jadi males sm elu dan kawananannya. Oiya, maaf emang ternyata ga segampang ya gua dan lo kira. Gua jd males juga kl gini ceritanya. Gua td nya udah fine ye jadi kayak gini, eh yg ada malah ganjel malah males gua. Iya dah masalahin aja gua terus. Kalo elu jg jadi sebel 'lagi' sama gua, marah lagi sama gua okeoke cuy. Gatau deh mungkin ya lo jg cerita sm gua, mksh hal itu udh dijadiin headline. Hyahahaha oke bye gua udah males ngebahas tentang masalah ini

Taking Back All-Days

JUJUR, gua males ngepost. Haha tp berhubung gua bosen, yodah gua rajinin aja dah ah. Hm kabar gua, buruk. Sekolah gua, parah. Kehidupan gua, ancur ngutang 1jeti ama enyak. Lovelife gua......apalagi, asu nya masyalah enek gua and also anything related to it. Sucks. Temen2 gua, mereka baik, dan smg baik2 aja. Nilai gua, mungkin agk cool down. Dan yg hot itu masalah pikiran gua yg selalu berpusat sm hal yg gua rasa agak nyiksa. hm lu pada sih keanya gatau, yaeyalah what the hell--o i even don't (want to) tell you. Tunggu2 apa kita ngomongin otak aja ye? Okay guys, otak itu didesign segitu canggih nya sampe kadang nggak bs ngelupain 1 hal yang di mark pentiiing banget. Itu sisi positif tp jg negatifnya, apalagi waktu lo lg ada momentary moment yg too sweet to forget dan negatifnya lo ga bs lupain momen yg nyakitin ATAU malu-malu, beudeh ngingetnya naujubileh bete gondok kesel sedih down pusing ah any asu feeling lah yaw. Kalo udah ada masalah keanya lo mau TAKE IT ALL BACK, yeah taking back all-days before. Where and When you really want something to turn back to normal so you can give a lil touch to change. Unfortunately, jaman skrg mana ada kea gituan, yg ada MIMPI KALEEEE YA. hahaha, gua agak sedikit hiperbola disini, tp bodo amat, gua seneng kea gini napa harus berubah juga si, gua kebiasa burdened to (sheeeeeeep) kenapa harus berubah? Gua biasa otp tidur pagi kenapa harus berubah? Kenapa harus berubah dan nyoba buat berubah jd lbh baik tulus and anything, i'm not a changer. Ya gua kea gini mau gimana KEK, ga ada hubungan sm lo kali hahaha. Oke ampon gua agak kebawa emosi disini, hiyaaaaaaaaak let it flows like rivers and let it go with the flows away. Disimpulin perasaan gua agak tidak keLibraan, alias ga seimbang, nyampur semua nya.

OH IYA GUYS, asu nya lg gua ga bs ol krn intrnt di cabut. Tagihan gua jebolin HAHAHA. Ampun ma ampun pa, tp namanya remaja wajar dng pa ma biar beda jaman ye kan? Gua cm bs ol di hp nic, wtffff. Keanya makin hari makin ancur aja ya gua bukannya overcome....... Ah cih, persetan dgn Taking Back All-days

i'm sick of this

wow! you know what Rengga sent me a message says 'Janeet'
HA-HA funny Jane! i'm still chatting with Eja and there she is, Deea is back from taking a bath

Okay let me tell you something about my life, my life isn't that nice. Like hers, like his, like theirs, like yours. maybe it's just simple. take one step then try to make another then make another than make another until you aren't seen in this town. i mean you are far like heaven............ after that you try the forgetting part. this is so easy to talk that way. BUT when you try to, BOOOOOM! you will not even turn back. all you want is to come back. same like me, i can't do that move on part. just remeber if life seems hard it means you're not going with the flow. i'm sick of this story, movin on then playback time again and again. it is hurt, sure! i'm not okaaaaaay, i am not i am not an d i am not and i will not! until this revenge painted. ouh i'm burning!!!! i'm tired to be named as a bitch as a non-self-priced girl as a brainless girl! i am tired! hear me saying this! I HATE YOU, this is the last time and the first time too. got it!

doing while thinking

i'm bored and i'm chatting with Deea and Reyza, plus Jessica. i'm waiting for his goodnight sms. but will he send me one? like it or not! it's uncertain. i'm thinking about where is he about? blablabla

i'm thinking ooof
no need to cry (my pm)
no need to say good bye (deea's pm)
no need to hesitate

even if we have to move on. even if we have to be hurt. just do it!!!

PS I miss you

all i want to tell
all i want to say

I miss you

if i mean something special to you, i really hope that you don't mind to hold me tight :')
if there is one reason between you-and-me, you don't feel the way we felt
for sure, i'm no aim to hurt you. i just love you too much. i'm too proud. but lies you made up are now showing up. i can't say one thing just to confess what i did. i'm shocked of what you have done.

you promised not to leave me alone. you wanted to mend this broken heart. what a lie! you made me believe. and what a stupid girl you are Janet! like i told you, i won't hurt you, i won't leave you and i won't break you down! i complete my mission. i miss you like mad, i'm sorry i can't lie about this. i need to learn how can you do this to me? i feel guilty about forcing you to stay. i'm fuckin hell spelled!!! i can't get you out of my mind.